To make a good first impression, you have to be your best – not just look it.
Women are scientifically proven to be great at reading people. They can tell a lot about you just from observing your facial expressions, voice, and body language.
They can tell if you’re active or more sedentary just from how fit you are. Or, they can tell what kind of a mood that you’re in just by observing how you’re sitting, standing or acting. They can also tell how you feel about yourself by how you walk, how you dress and how you treat others.
Whether or not you realize it, you are constantly communicating who you really are. It’s so important to understand that to make an external good first impression, you must first take care of your internal self – how you think and feel about yourself.
How you feel about yourself drives everything about how attractive you are. When you feel great about yourself, it shows and people will will be more attracted to you. But when you don’t feel good about yourself, it shows too, and nobody will be as attracted.
But what are some good tips to keep in mind to make a good first impression?
Things That You Can Do to Make a Good First Impression
1. Be Confident
Confidence radiates. It shows from across the room. Confidence means that you feel good about yourself. If you don’t feel good about yourself, how can you expect others to feel good about you?
Some people feel completely confident, no matter what they’re doing. They’re confident when they’re right and when they’re wrong. If you’re not among these few, the idea that you need to “be confident” can be intimidating and can actually make you less confident with yourself.
No worries. Confidence is something you can learn, practice and master. It’s a result of you knowing that you’re great. At Adelance’s social dance evenings, you’ll learn to get the best version of yourself out there. And, you’ll get to practice it with dozens of women every week.
Seeing yourself in the mirror, standing tall and proud and dancing with beautiful women will surely boost your confidence.
What can you do on the outside to make a good first impression?
2. Dress Well
They say that the clothes make the man. Whether that is true or not can be debated, but the hard cold fact is that how you are dressed is usually the first thing that a woman will notice about you. If you dress slovenly, she will instantly think that you either
- Don’t have the ability to afford nice clothes, or
- Don’t care about how you appear in public.
Neither thought is good. Instantly, someone can think, “I would not want to be seen in public with this person!”
If you don’t dress well, you can’t make a good first impression…
Does this mean that you must go out and buy a $1,000 suit and wear it in public all the time to attract women? No. But it does mean that it’s probably time to throw out some of the older clothes that you have that are starting to fade and that are showing rings around the collars…
Dressing well is such a subjective thing. You know what is best for you. Buy the clothes that make you feel really good about yourself. If they are too expensive, save up for them and buy in less quantity. Higher quality clothing usually lasts much longer than cheaper, less expensive ones, and they make you feel better.
3. Show Good Manners
This should go without saying but it’s important to remember. If someone thinks that you don’t have good manners, it will be over before it even starts.
What are some examples of things you can do to show good manners?
- Be on time.
- Take a “no” seriously and don’t pressure anyone.
- Use “please” and “thank you” when appropriate.
- Allow the woman to go first or order first.
- If someone is cold, offer your coat.
- Truly listen and provide positive feedback.
- Hold the door open for someone.
- Pull a chair out for her if she’s going to sit.
Of course, you get to decide what is appropriate behavior or not – but decide beforehand so that when you’re in the moment, you don’t hesitate.
Hesitation is a sign of doubt and insecurity. It’s better to be confident and do a questionable thing than to be insecure and do something that you should do for sure…
In our dance evenings, we approach someone different when we change partners and dance as a couple. Women feel it and immediately know who has good manners and who they should avoid.
4. Be Authentic
It’s a tough job for a woman to find the right guy! Usually, if she’s interested in someone, she will invest a lot of time and energy into figuring out who he really is, and if he’s worthy of her interest.
So, if that’s how it works, make it easier for her! Be authentic. Be yourself. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind and to let her know what you like and what you don’t like about things.
If you are too agreeable to everything, she will probably know that you’re hiding your true feelings. Then she probably will think that you’re not trustworthy because you don’t speak your mind. Even worse, that you don’t have the guts to say what you really think. This is why the “bad boy” types do so much better than nice guys in the beginning, because they don’t care. It’s so much more fun and easier to be yourself than to try to be someone who you are not.
But also realize that as human, you will evolve and grow. So don’t be so attached to your beliefs about yourself or how the world works that you cannot change. From a practical perspective, what this means is that if the girl you are interested in is super convinced of something that is important to her and you don’t agree, don’t be afraid to disagree with her, but also, be open to the idea that she may be right.
There is a fine balance between being authentic and being too stubborn to ever change your mind on anything. Be strong in your convictions, but flexible and adaptable based on new information.
5. Be Positive
If you find yourself in a circumstance where you are with a girl who you like, but something has gone wrong, do your best to be positive regardless of what happened. She will admire you for being able to see the bright side of things and realize that if you can be positive in a negative situation, then you must be an overall positive person.
How can you be more positive?
Monitor any thoughts that you may have that aren’t positive, such as regret from the past and worry about the future. Start talking to yourself in uplifting terms. These are called “positive affirmations.” Make it a daily habit to tell yourself things such as:
- I am good enough.
- I am worthy of all that is good.
- I am attractive.
- I am a good person.
- I am smart enough.
- I can do it.
- I can do anything I set my mind to.
When you start to counteract the negative thoughts in your mind with positive ones, you will develop a more positive attitude.
6. Give Genuine Compliments
If you want to make a good first impression, find something about her that stands out and compliment her on it. It can be something that she’s wearing, or her knowledge on some topic that’s being discussed. The more that you pay attention to her, the easier it will be to compliment her on something.
But make sure that the compliment is genuine. If you compliment her on something to just score points with her, she will know it. Choose something that isn’t normally noticeable and give her a compliment on it.
You Can Learn How to Make a Good First Impression
Social dancing is the perfect way to meet new people and to hone your social skills. At Adelance’s social dance evenigs you’ll practise everything you learnt and you will be able to interact with women with any problem. You’ll get used to being close to women with complete confidence. We work on leading, following and being together in the moment.
Once you master these skills, you will make a great first impression on almost any woman.
Come a dance evening and let’s get started.